stalled

for some reason, i always know that when i say out loud 'i'm happy' that inevitably, it is bound to change. it's not that i'm feeling really unhappy, per se, just not in touch with the positive feelings i had been experiencing this last week. there are two major components involved; suffering from depression (that is usually not circumstantial), and the ending of a relationship. my feelings of contentment lately have not been regarding the breakup, of which i am still silently (and sadly) sorting out.

some things from the past few days...

a giant thank you to jonathan who, without solicitation, helped out with frances in a huge way this week (since she is no longer at her old school and has yet to start the new one). it was just a given and seriously appreciated.

i took frances to see 'monster house' in 3D. i honestly cannot remember the last time i saw a movie in 3D, but i'm guessing it involved a drive-in and a sweet wood paneled station wagon. and although i fell asleep for a bit, i enjoyed being there alone with frances. movies usually involve at least one other child which amounts to 10 times the work.

i do not know what i was thinking with these kittens. very cute but total bitches.

i almost started bawling in a meeting today. my boss is no longer going to be my boss and although he'll be right around the corner, it won't be the same. we've become good enough friends that i can almost overlook the nascar thing. and he loves 'the office' and never says anything about me being chronically 10 minutes late for work. nor did he say anything when i referred to the new boss as 'an ass' today in the meeting (with the new boss in attendance). in fact, he secretly gave me a thumbs up as we were leaving.

for bibliophiles... i recently discovered www.librarything.com. my username is francepants and i'll (hopefully) have all my books listed by the end of the weekend. i feel about books the way most people feel sex. wait. huh?

speaking of books, i cannot put this down.

frances has an unusual interest in movies for a four year old. she can recite parts of movies that she has seen only a couple of times. and she loves to talk about her favorite movies, as well, which includes 'princess mononoke', 'kiki's delivery service', 'my neighbor totoro', 'nausica, valley of the wind'...basically any miyazaki movie is a sure thing. so the other night, this is the conversation we had.

frances: 'how do you make a movie?'
me: (an overly involved answer which included casting and post-production - not really the answer she was looking for)
frances: 'can we make a movie?'
me: 'totally! do you want to make movies when you grow up?'
frances: 'well first i want to be a veterinarian but when i don't have to work or i get off early, then i want to make movies.'

frances and her friend karel (a girl) decided to have a wedding recently. i had mixed feelings about it, to be quite honest. not because they are both girls (please) but because this was not frances' idea. frances doesn't know a thing about weddings or being married (or what boys and girls do.) this other girl (who is about 6 months older) is really into this sort of stuff - kissing, wearing a bra (i swear she has one and wears it only under tank-tops so it will show. did i mention she is 5?) ok so karel decides that her and frances should get married and the idea of wearing a white princess dress was all the convincing frances needed. i felt obligated to let them do it at our house since it was kind of my turn to watch them. so even with my reservations (and slight irritation at the whole thing) i still made a cake. well really, i had no choice as karel showed up with not only a cake topper but tissue paper bells and little rings. so after the ceremony (which i officiated and pronounced them friends for life - only halfway meaning it) they ate cake and were allowed to drink their juice from wine glasses. frances got naked (as usual). here's what really irked me: karel got really bent out of shape over it (the nudity). obviously she doesn't know as much about real weddings as she thought!